OUTTA TOUCH WITH REALITY?
Lately, I have been feeling real blaaaaah and outta touch. What I mean by that is that I cannot identify with many things anymore. I have been questioning myself on how to react in situations. Some food doesn’t taste the same, certain subjects I just don’t care about, and I find myself in situations to which I don’t know how to react. My friends will invite me to places, and I bail or just fall into a zone where I’m just like “meh…”. I know I’m not depressed or anything, I just don’t know how to react anymore.
My mother thinks it’s because of the weed, and that I should take a break from it. Rest assured I have not done psychedelics in months, and I haven’t been smoking weed as much either. Yes, my PO$HGIRLZ & PO$HBOYZ, I am moving on. I was having a conversation with my PO$HGIRL not too long ago and came to the realization that I can’t remember the last time I was overly happy to the point I teared up. I wanna feel that again. I am craving that feeling. I know it’s a feeling I have experienced before –maybe as a kid or something– but I simply can’t experience it at the moment. So, I started reflecting on what would make me feel that type of joy.
Thinking… thinking… and thinking….
The only thing that came to mind was a diamond isosceles triangle. Why that image? Because I use that image to associate with my conscious mind and my purpose. I live to create an art form that will make y’all question shit. I strive to be a source of inspiration for those who need that confidence to pursue their dreams (and fuck up the world while at it! – in a good way :D). I feel like my body and mind have, in a way, been rejecting things that might not be beneficial to my journey. I am naturally reacting to these “things” because I have not been reminding myself enough of my purpose. And that’s the reason for feeling this out of touch.
The best remedy for me is “Conversations”. Conversations with others who as well have personal missions, who UNDERSTAND yours and honestly want you to succeed. It ain’t easy to keep reminding yourself of the grounds for all of what you do. That’s why no matter how hard we try to be solo and promote this idea of individualism, we are social beings. It’s our responsibility to build up a mindful support system. There’s nothing wrong with letting anyone know that you’re a woman or a man on a mission.
Back 2 Reality.